Goodbye, Purse

I'm kind of pouting, in the way that I dumped the entire contents of my purse on the floor (at 2am) and haven't touched that pile of discarded hopes. It makes me rather upset, to tell you the truth, as I had just fallen in love with that purse and the idea of having a purse when it quit on me.

And it was attempted to be fixed, once. But once that broke, we all know the next effort won't work either. It becomes an abandoned project, easily discarded to the back of one's mind.

Like other things. That I constantly think and worry and linger on. Like the fact that I can't really see details far away. And it's kind of hindering, but I'll get over it. When you approach me from far away, I won't be able to recognize your face until you come closer, which honestly kind of terrifies me in a I-won't-be-able-to-recognize-them-and-they'll-be-hurt sort of way.

Which reminds me. Of the fact that I can't tell if they were being nice and friendly or just making fun of me. I can't help but be wary and afraid of those kinds of people and approaches. I just want it to stop.

My toe is broken. Opposite of sprained-ankle foot. I need to work on properly healing that. I am cold.

End of June to middle of November. And then it starts. I can't explain it at all. Or talk to anyone about it. But I'm getting there. With slight slips of information. That they'll never understand the importance of or how much this lingers on my mind.

Mother mother please?