Mental Addiction

One thing that is pretty much on my mind all the time are roleplays. Because things that I thoroughly enjoy I slowly rapidly become obsessed with, and until they are complete I cannot rid them from my mind. And roleplays are never-ending. There is always a possibility for more. And as much as I want to constantly bug people about replying to them (because they never do), I can't bring myself to do it.

Want to know why?

Because of those two.

Even though it had nothing to do with me, a fear has been formed with me that bugging people about replying will push them into the same corner and destroy our friendship like that one was destroyed. So I just sit there and anguish over the silence. Because that's all there is--silence. My creative side is drying up and I need that outlet, but that isn't happening and I can't bring myself to make that happen. And, you know, I feel a little silly about it all. I mean, we started together, all those years ago in middle school, and now I am the only one still clinging to it. Everyone else has moved on with their lives. And here I am, still dependent upon that addiction.

Alone.