Imagine

Imagine waking up to having a vast amount of information poured upon you, whether it be a deep question or a torrent of news from someone. Wouldn't that be so overwhelming that your head would start spinning?

Imagine that every day, you try your best to acknowledge others, who in turn barely acknowledge you back, then wake up one day to find them chatting it up with you in a way you remember from long ago.

Imagine coming to class and idly wondering where a classmate had gone, and assuming that they had dropped out, only to later find out that they were dead?

Imagine being the center of a struggle for attention between two friends, neither of which trusts the other. Imagine having to partake in two conversations at once.

Imagine walking through something you've abandoned and wishing you weren't there, for in your mind you can hear the snide remarks they are mentally making and the dark looks they are giving you for quitting before anything good actually begun. For not even giving them a chance.
But I did. I did give them a chance. And that chance crushed me.

Imagine standing outside in the cold with people you barely know, who are friends of your friends, wondering where your friends friends have gone.

Imagine sitting on a bench and talking to two dear friends, only to be pulled away and out of the cold as it is time for you to be gone.

Drowning

I can't imagine how it must be for Heather-la.

I have a few classes without anyone and it is almost unbearable, if I didn't have pen and pencil. I wonder what my facial expression is like when I am writing about such things...

That hurt, Ms Kirk. "I know you all know everybody in here, so find a buddy and stop complaining." 

And thanks, Ms Mihealsick for putting me in a group with no one I wanted to be with. I don't know these girls. Was that the point? To get me to meet new people? I've been in their groups before. They don't accept me. People in general don't accept me.

Or perhaps it's me that doesn't accept them. It's my fault. 

Do I not fit in there or do I just refuse to fit in?

I suppose I'll just be perfectly silent and watch them talk about their lives I take no part in.

Warning: Highly Emotional

So recently, I've been watching a lot of movies that make me cry. Of course, I hate crying when there is someone sitting right next to me who will ask, "Why are you crying?" when I haven't got a response as to why.
I almost cried during Alice in Wonderland! Alice in Wonderland! I was able to stop myself from actually crying, but I've never wanted to cry during Disney movies before. And then there was The Fall, and Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, and lots more...Perhaps I am just sad and want an outlet with other peoples' lives that are fictional?

AHHH
I am thinking too much again
au revoir

A Thought Filled With Nothing

I've been thinking deeply about things, and getting nowhere in them. I don't know why I am thinking so hard, or what I hope to accomplish.


D a i l y s t r e t c h

the spiders...

Former Happiness, Future Joy

A strange thing happened...I was typing this, and then it all changed languages on me. It was quite upsetting.

ANYWAYS,
Phoenix almost got NAARON MO to cry yesterday. It makes me smile. AND he buried his head in his hands, so you never know, he could have been crying. But that isn't enough.

And tomorrow is the amazing party-ness. I get to see my girlfriend. I'm so excited and happy.

Don't skip class, children.

Hm
and I might change my seat in English class.
I have a valid rea--

anger
anger anger



um...right. Well, I love you, whoever you are, for finding this and reading this.
That's all for today.

Oh, and I've started something I'll never tell you about.

Before the Clamity

So today we lounged around the house.

Preparations were begun for the events happening tomorrow. 

My room is still a mess...but it should be fine by Sunday. I've cleaned it in 30 minutes before, so I know I can do it sometime tomorrow, if I put my mind to it. Mentally, I am prepared. So away we go~

Confrontation

so today i had a wonderful time with Megan-la and Phoenix-wa after our final finals and such. We went home together in my dad's car and had PBJ sammiches.

Lots of fun we had. 

Phoenix left at 4, but Megan stayed till 10. 

Gtalk is amazing, I must say. Yet conversations are so hard to carry on. Too much effort. And for what?

Yes, I am avoiding confrontation. Perhaps I never will actually confront anyone about this. Just my lonely blog, I suppose..

Inside

I feel like my insides are being crushed

the empty box crushes them more and more and more

it hurts

but i won't say anything more

A Blog...

A blog is kind of like a diary, I suppose...except quite public. Yes, quite.

So today I have been stripped of my iPod video. SO I now have updated my iPod mini. Ah, life is good.

For now.

DUN DUN DUUUUN!