Insecurities

I should have just said no. I know what day it is. I know what they are to each other. I knew that I would be the uneasy third wheel in the back seat. I knew that.

So why did I go?

Because of promises, I guess.

Also because I was secretly afraid that he would leave me.

That I would walk out and no one would be there, no one would be there.

Just darkness.

It was kind of nice, though, I guess. I'm still a bit afraid of lots of things about him. Just little things. That I am trying to squelch.

But most of all I am afraid that one day this peace we've formed would have been a lie, that my initial fear was correct and I would go back to the terrified alone girl I was at the start of the year. Maybe worse than before.