I was always afraid. Afraid of things changing, of me losing valuable things.
My fears became reality.
I lost you. I lost Sarah. I lost myself.
No one wins in this battle of emotions.
I lost. You lost. Everything is gone.
It's taking every ounce of self control I currently possess to not just stand up and walk out the door, directly to your window so we can talk. Words like this do emotions so strong no justice.
I want to show you all the secrets I've been keeping, but am afraid that they won't be safe or repaid by your secrets.
But the thing that terrifies me most of all is losing you, or anyone, because of a thought I unleash.
I've created too many walls, and no bridges.
The words I say are afraid of hurting another person listening to them. And so I stop speaking.
I sit here for ten minutes, doing no action. Producing nothing.
What now?
This has been a cruel tug-a-war between two people, both refusing to completely let go. And now we've stopped pulling.
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-hugs - You'll never lose me. Nor have you ever.
ReplyDeleteI've just been on the edges, out of sight.
I'll text you tomorrow morning so we can talk in the morning or durring lunch, away from people.
I've always been here, Biki-love. And I know you have been too.
You open up, I do to. That's a promise I will always keep.
I will never betray or hurt you...i never want to.