I'm not hard enough on myself
I need to be harder
stricter
tougher
more unrelenting

so I can succeed

You want to know why I get these grades?
Because I'm a failure
as a person

I lack the basic characteristics to succeed
and thus I fail

Your actions are training me extraordinarily well in the art of not caring

Without these precious connections things twist unnicely each and every day.

Twisting and twisting and twisting....

I am such a
such a
n inadequate friend

I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop I miss my laptop

A friend in need is a friend indeed
a friend with weed is better
my Japanese is better
a friend who bleeds is better

Not a fun nap, but a warm nap.

The ankle brace is the culprit of pain, removed sock and all

dear phone, when im laying in bed with you, pushing all your buttons, please dont randomly decide to obey gravity and hit me in the nose. thanks. sincerely, late night texters everywhere

Son: Dad, I got a girlfriend
Dad: Good job! Is she cute?

Daughter: Dad, I got a boyfriend
Dad: Oh no you didn't! *loads shotgun*


Mom: Did you get home okay?
Me: No, Mom. I got shot, run over, kidnapped, and raped.
Mom: Oh, that's good.

A teenage gets a packet at home. The father watches him/her open it:
Teen: Yes! I've been waiting for this forever!
Father: ? There is only bubble wrap in there, but nothing else.
Teen: Exactly, what do you think I ordered?
(Starts popping it.)


gatta problem with me?solve it
think im trippen?tie my shoe
cant stand me?sit back down
cant face me?turn around
sorry im rihanna.i dont love the way you lie


I like turtles because they're so chill. They don't hurt anyone. They're just like, "Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I'm gonna take my time getting there, I'm not in a rush. Because I'm a turtle."


Your car is Japanese. Your Vodka is Russian. Your pizza is Italian. Your kebab is Turkish. Your democracy is Greek. Your coffee is Brazilian. Your movies are American. Your Beers are German. Your shirt is Indian. Your oil is Saudi Arabian. Your electronics are Chinese. Your number--Arabic, your letters--Latin. And you complain that your neighbor is an immigrant? Like if you're against racism.

It's funny how we can remember the lyrics to hundreds of songs, but can't remember anything when we study for a test

Lost your pen= No pen=No notes=No study=Fail=No diploma=no work=no money=no food=you get skinny=you get Ugly=no love=no marriage=no children= alone
alone=depression
depression=sickness
sickness=death
Lesson: Don’t lose your pen, you will die.. :P

Ooh, you deleted me off Facebook. Is that your final revenge? What's next, you throw a Fruit Loop at the back of my head and expect it to hurt?

It's not that I hate you.. it's just, let me put it this way, if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.

I hate those posts where it describes your life incredibly right, and you wanna show it off to the world, but you can't.

PICK UP LINES

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.

So they aren't fictional...


four main reasons a girl will stop texting back.
One - You said something that made her mad
Two - You just started to get boring
Three - She fell asleep
Four - You said the letter "K"


No guy or girl is perfect in this world. Each person is only half perfect. And when you find that other half in your life, you make the perfect couple.

If you ignore me, I will ignore you. If you dont start the conversation, we wont talk. If you don't put in the effort, why should I?

To her classmates;
She is a quiet girl.. who doesn't talk that much.
To her friends;
She is a funny, outgoing girl.. that always makes them laugh.
To her best friend;
She is a crazy, fun girl.. that's always there for her.
To her boyfriend;
She is an amazing girl.. that he loves more than anything.
And to herself;
She's completely worthless..

I am a waste of time, space, and air on this planet
no more resources should be wasted on me

I need to be perfect. More perfect than all the others.
I need to try harder. Achieve more than anyone else.

yet I keep falling short
failing
being a failure