The Pros and Cons of Breathing

Goodness, there is so much drama drama
but the drama has lessened
and now it's just more of a mess
that I want to throw into the air
and let it fall as it will

I detest you so much sometimes.
I can't wait until February

Cherry Lips or Cheery Lips?

Crocodiles sing in perfect harmony,
their jaws open
exposing perfectly sharp teeth and notes
Rising into the air as the song continues

The owl eternally watches this show
of a monster's sentimentality
with increasing interest
as the words morph into something kind

Glowing butterflies flutter in the dim moonlight
Just out of the reach
of the hungry mouths
of the crocodile

Song, based in the throat of a frog
singing deeply a soft tune
that holds up the harmonious voices
of the carnivorous crocodiles

Innocent birds had once landed
to watch and listen
comfortably on the shore of the lake
Now their feathers adorn
the throats of the reptiles

Snakes slither through the branches
of a nearby tree
While they cannot sing
they cannot object
to the mesmerizing tune
that captivates their dinner
leaves it helpless
and tastier than ever
The owl

Poison

A small dose of poison never killed anyone...

Fall

You wouldn't catch me because you wouldn't see me falling.

Okay we're going to stop killing Naaron Mo and do hw now

Sick Sick Sick

Really, if everyone hates you, how can you ever hope to be happy?


That's why you have to pretend
Pretend and please and smile
until you're sick sick sick
like Silly Sammy Slick
and snap

:3

It's funny how easily you can replace yourself

so easily

H@cking isn't Nic3

Things like this are scary

Privacy?
What's that?


It's the thing that matters most to me.

Censor?

Sometimes I want to censor all of my thoughts so that only things will be said that will please others.

I don't want to do that here.


L o v e is just another word I never learned to pronounce

I don't know what happened exactly, but I feel happier recently. Like I don't have to try so hard to fit in with others, to laugh with others, to just be myself and spread sunshine upon everyone
These are oddly happy days
And I can get through them, even though sometimes it's hard to memorize a monologue in ten minutes. Even though it makes me smile to see that the teacher doesn't know me well, that I am a mystery.
Let the mystery continue, I say.
Just don't forget I exist, please.

Mindscape

Glancing into the reflective surface
My painfully rainbow dry eyes

Drowning beneath the skies of gray
In the fields of wheat
Lie many dead dreams
Soaked in the blood of reality
Faeries who once danced
Killed with the knives of betrayal

Focus flying from the purple walls
Falling to the potato punishment
Inscribed upon white paper

To carry a potato
Something that would never rot

I articulate a shaky laugh


My landscape is broken

:(

yeah, so Bela sent me a thing on Chattersia being all hurt about the blog thing

ugh
sometimes she makes me so angry

and she's so self-centered!
she thinks that I only blocked her out by locking up my blog
no, I blocked out all the people I don't even know who were so eagerly sending me hate mail for no reason at all
they weren't even brave enough to supply me with their names


and that this blog is all about her?
bull shit
this is MY blog
about ME

Words

It's easier to deal with words when they aren't yours

Anti-Words

I am going crazy.

All those words. They weren't his. They were my paraphrases

Or were they?

Trust? What's That?

Why would you do that?
Tell so many people about such a little thing
that didn't even involve you

Guess what?
Yesterday I wanted to kill myself
I swallowed as many things as I could get my hands upon
there wasn't anything sharp enough to do harm

and this is because of your words
your unnecessay words

You aren't healthy for me.
I'm not healthy for me.

Healthy?
Ha.

You

Why throw a party when no one will come?

"I want to stab you in the face! But TeacherWeb doesn't have a face!"

Right.

So today I feel like everything.

And I don't know what or how I feel.

Stop asking me how I feel

I don't really know

Happy?

Hm

Fuck

I don't even know what happened last night

And now it's over

Animosity is growing

for all of them

everyone

God, I don't need friends

not these kinds of friends