"WHY ARE YOU PUSHING ME AWAY"

it's so simple to be sad and alone than to face my feelings
to hide and hide and hide and hide

i never want to exist

"You are so depressed."
"I'm sorry."

Dis oriented

Do you ever just wake up and forget which is reality and which is dream

I wish I could forget

As long as I have the internet and this sadness, I'll never be alone. Right?

Recluse

You know it's bad when you have to force me out of the house every day

Down

It gets so bad that I'm no longer myself
I'm no longer that smiling laughing shining girl that everyone knows and loves
I become something much different
filled only with sadness, no smiles

and I need help
but I'm not likely to get it anywhere

people can't help me with this
I have come to that point where I recognize that I have a problem, I know exactly what the problem is
I just have no idea how to fix it
and you don't either. no one i know does.

Farewell

Sometimes she leaves with a smile
Sometimes she leaves with a kiss
Sometimes she leaves with tears in her eyes
this girl I will always miss

Miss

The longer I go without seeing him the more I cry

I think that's the trend
or maybe it's all just a trick of my mind

Depress

I'm always sad all the time and I'm always crying all the time and I can't find a way to just stay happy the littlest things upset me and send me spiraling downward into a dark hole I've created specially for myself and I always make things worse I never make things better

I can't stand it and I don't know why you should have to really
no one should have to deal with me and my sadness

Losing

I feel like giving this back means giving up the hold on your heart your happiness

it feels like giving up losing


Because this means that Jordan wins this means that I lose in my stubbornness this means that I lose and he wins and I don't want him to win I never want him to win

and my only coping mechanism would be of course becoming horribly bitter about it and never playing Playstation ever again
which isn't good I was looking forward to so many games that you wanted to show me...

The girl you love is alone in the night crying and contemplating suicide and there's nothing you can do for her

it tears you apart

"You will fall in love with your friends. Deep, passionate love. You will create a second family with them, a kind of tribe that makes you feel less vulnerable. Sometimes our families can’t love us all the time. Sometimes we’re born into families who don’t know how to love us properly. They do as much as they can but the rest is up to our friends. They can love you all the time, without judgement. At least the good ones can."
          --The People You Will Fall In Love With In Your Twenties, Ryan O’Connell

Selfish needy perfectionist annoying doesn't know truths doesn't speak her mind always so hidden you can't see a speck of light she emits

but loves me still?