Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
The World Feels So Cold
The world feels so cold. So devoid of warmth.
In the air of buildings, in the hearts of people, in the fake friendliness of people.
So cold.
In the air of buildings, in the hearts of people, in the fake friendliness of people.
So cold.
I can't handle this
It kind of wrenches my heart in two, to see this happen between what had appeared to be such a sweet couple. They were together for three, four years, and make it through some tough times, but they always made it through together. The fights would end, time would mend, and life would go on.
But now it seems as though life has stopped.
I can feel her pain so clearly as though it were my own. I do not know why. Perhaps it is the care I have for her, for I want her to be happy, content, and unhurt. I don't want her to hurt. I don't want her to cry.
I wish I had more answers, but I don't. I don't know the right things to say. I don't know the right emotions to convey across. I can't change the topic, I can't stop rambling on about things that aren't important at the moment.
"Mmm.... I don't know the exact reason why, but all of this saddens me greatly. I think it's because I don't want to see you hurt at all. Because I care about you. Because you're my friend. Really my words don't matter much, that in the end, words are just words, and emotions are only slightly swayed by them, but I hope that at least my words can help a little. Make things more bearable. Manageable. Less...unpleasant. Not that we can make this less unpleasant. It is what it is, and nothing can change that. Though we can change how it affects us, at least a little bit, I suppose. "
But this is how I vent. With words, typed words, spoken words, written words.
Words that bleed pain. Sort things out. It's so hard to merely mentally take the chaos from within and keep it within that chaos, trying to sort it out amidst it all.
"Best friends help best friends in any way they can, even if sometimes it feels inadequate. But no one can be 100% adequate. We're human, after all."
I can only hope that all of my rambling and blubbering will help, at least a little bit. People give me their heart, and so it is only right to give them mine. At least in that moment where they need it so dearly, it would seem a crime to hold anything to yourself that could make the situation even marginally better.
You must make things better. But never with lies. Always with truths spoken from the heart. Even if those things may turn out to be rotten advice, just the comfort behind the words is all that counts. Trust is key. Trust. Trust.
But now it seems as though life has stopped.
I can feel her pain so clearly as though it were my own. I do not know why. Perhaps it is the care I have for her, for I want her to be happy, content, and unhurt. I don't want her to hurt. I don't want her to cry.
I wish I had more answers, but I don't. I don't know the right things to say. I don't know the right emotions to convey across. I can't change the topic, I can't stop rambling on about things that aren't important at the moment.
"Mmm.... I don't know the exact reason why, but all of this saddens me greatly. I think it's because I don't want to see you hurt at all. Because I care about you. Because you're my friend. Really my words don't matter much, that in the end, words are just words, and emotions are only slightly swayed by them, but I hope that at least my words can help a little. Make things more bearable. Manageable. Less...unpleasant. Not that we can make this less unpleasant. It is what it is, and nothing can change that. Though we can change how it affects us, at least a little bit, I suppose. "
But this is how I vent. With words, typed words, spoken words, written words.
Words that bleed pain. Sort things out. It's so hard to merely mentally take the chaos from within and keep it within that chaos, trying to sort it out amidst it all.
"Best friends help best friends in any way they can, even if sometimes it feels inadequate. But no one can be 100% adequate. We're human, after all."
I can only hope that all of my rambling and blubbering will help, at least a little bit. People give me their heart, and so it is only right to give them mine. At least in that moment where they need it so dearly, it would seem a crime to hold anything to yourself that could make the situation even marginally better.
You must make things better. But never with lies. Always with truths spoken from the heart. Even if those things may turn out to be rotten advice, just the comfort behind the words is all that counts. Trust is key. Trust. Trust.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Frustration
There is merely an air of frustration in this house.
In me.
He never does anything, he doesn't really care for us as much as he should. His contribution to this household is minimal. He doesn't appreciate the things we do for him. He doesn't appreciate us.
Yeah, you worked and supported us for 13 years but what are you doing now?
Minimal effort.
Sometimes I wish him gone, sometimes I wish myself gone.
From this house, this influence of frustrated people.
The feeling of love gone.
It is a gradual decline.
Into nothing.
In me.
He never does anything, he doesn't really care for us as much as he should. His contribution to this household is minimal. He doesn't appreciate the things we do for him. He doesn't appreciate us.
Yeah, you worked and supported us for 13 years but what are you doing now?
Minimal effort.
Sometimes I wish him gone, sometimes I wish myself gone.
From this house, this influence of frustrated people.
The feeling of love gone.
It is a gradual decline.
Into nothing.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
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